It’s been a rather interesting month or so. I think one of the last times I wrote I was recently back from Seattle, not too far removed from visiting multiple churches and well…the girl. A lot has happened, a lot has been thought about, and currently I’m on the road to San Francisco. In fact we are just pulling into Winnemucca Nevada. I’ve been to Seattle for the Washington Pacific District convention, I’ve been crazy busy with school and such, I’ve been offered a potential chance to live on Capital Hill in Seattle. There’s been multiple conversations with people I’ve never ever talked to before, I’ve never said “I love you” more to Steph, and I’ve never been more sure of my calling to be involved on the mission field particularly in the states. It’s pretty crazy and really I can be a wreck sometimes emotionally but no due to the stress of thinking whether or not my life will be taken care of in a couple months. No, I’m really not worried about all that. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m giving a huge amount of my attention to the issue and to figuring out how I can spend the rest of my life with this amazing girl that I have fallen in love with, but really I just want to be a vehicle of change. That’s the problem. So…I hear things, I read things and then they consume my thoughts at times. Try writing a paper for school when your constantly thinking about the meaning of integrity and if that implies to more than just you but to things like institutions and such. Ya, that paper isn’t going to get done as perfectly as you would have hoped. In fact I’m on this trip, not really excited about it and I had an epiphany while facing the urinal in Burger King’s bathroom. How can I be excited about this experience and learning to help others or be of service when I myself am a little bit of a wreck right now. I mean, I know that God can use me if and when I am willing, which I am, and use me in my brokeness. In fact a professor recently stated that that is the reason the church exists. That God breathes in the church to breathe them (us) out to be joyfully broken in the world. So it’s fine that I’m broken and messed up at times or all the time, but it sure seems that there may be a way that instead of going out all the time that I might need to take some time to just wait. Don’t know what that looks like all the time, but ya…just something that popped into my head. I’m in a bubble…and so here are four things that I’ve at least thought about in multiple places at multiple times throughout the past little while.
