Responsibility (part 2)

What an amazing word really. There are so many places, thoughts, ideas that can go with it. I am contemplating my responsibility in relation to Stephanie and what that looks like. What that looks like as our relationship progresses. Then you have social responsibility and what does that mean, and then you have this thing of personal integrity. I had a situation a couple years back where I had to do a few things different than most would because I didn’t want to compromise my personal integrity. I felt that what I believed had a higher standard than was the norm was in the group that I was associated with. That was crazy tough and really, some questioned why I would do such a thing. I and my family spent multiple hours not sleeping because of the things we had to think and contemplate. Once again I find myself back thinking upon this due to a couple of recent conversations that I have had. Is it partly my responsibility to see change. I don’t know, but I almost feel that it is to some point. I mean, it’s a bad situation but do people really see the extent of it. Not that it’s a personal crusade, but more that there is a group that seems not to care about their representation of what I stand for, of what my university stands for, of what the church I am now a licensed minister in cares for. Is it partly my responsibility to speak and speak boldly, not to humiliate or bring judgment upon, but to say… “something needs to change.” How can we allow people to just disregard core values that people have worked so hard to establish. It’s not about one person’s hard work, sweat and blood, but it’s about our integrity. Do we hold ourselves to the world’s standards or do we hold ourselves to God’s standards? What should we do, what is our responsibility when people can’t even stay accountable to the world’s standards? Yes I believe heavily in grace but is there ever a time in which part of the appropriate action is to be bold, not afraid to stand and say, “we have been wrong, and we want to be transparent and people known for their honesty in everything we do.” It even comes down to an article that was written in our school newspaper in association with a group of guys that got into some local legal trouble, and then the newspaper was quickly pulled by the administration. I could care less about the “freedom of speech” clause or the fact that people who have funded the newspaper do not want to see the mugshots of these guys on something published in association with the school, but what about the message that that action is sending. As if we as a Christian people are more concerned with our marketability and our public image (so we do not want to air our dirty laundry) than with being known as people who are open about our brokeness and willing to confront it. Seems like we as Christians should be the first people to proclaim that we are dirty and broken. That we don’t have it all right and instead of trying to make sure nobody knows that we instead want to be a people that are willing to be honest about our journey and efforts to intentionally work on it, always seeking to love God and love others more deeply. So I ask these questions, wonder, ponder, and really don’t have a conclusion. I guess I’ll just have to see what happens, but maybe I will have to say something. Maybe I will have to just write or speak on the issue, and maybe I’ll just have to pray. I don’t know…but it’s heck’a hard.